Mommy Diaries Part 2: Sacrifices

And I quote, “Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love, is by far, the truest type of love.”

“We were not ready yet.” This was what I thought when I learnt I was pregnant. Like I said, I was just 20 years old then. I was just on my third year college. I have good grades and I do intend to graduate on time. That was why I didn’t give up school even though I was pregnant.

It was so hard to continue studying while pregnant; some of the students in our school would look at me, criticizing my pregnancy at a young age, some were concerned, and some were admiring my perseverance in pursuing my studies.

Since it was my last year at school, I had my thesis and on-the job training on my curriculum. I took Mass Communication so I had my on-the job training at different fields of Mass communication, Last one I had was at ABS-CBN, studio 23. I had to wake up at 3am; the hardest part of it was that I was already 7 months pregnant at that time. I thought to myself, one more semester and I’m done.

But the thing was… It wasn’t the biggest sacrifice I did for my baby. I knew it was my fault that I got pregnant and I was very willing to take the consequences. I had no problems with finishing school at that time because the parents of the man who got me pregnant (who is now my husband) took responsibility of all my school finances.

So there, my problem was, at that time, I wasn’t sure if my partner was ready to be a dad. He was always sober, he was always into trouble. And was always dishonest, he cheated a lot of times and I was able to still forgive him and stayed by his side… for our soon to be born child. With him I was hurting emotionally, mentally and physically… but I thought to myself I love him and we shall stay together for our child.

It wasn’t an easy sacrifice. I was raised in a broken home. Had a mom and dad but never really saw them together, plus, I was always stuck into making decision who to live with. And of course I don’t want that to happen to my own child. This I have to think about every time I was hurting.

2002, was the year when he (my husband now) became my boyfriend. Then 2004, he got me pregnant. And I guess it took him four years more to be mature and realize I won’t live him and I will stay no matter how bad he treated me. So, it was just last year.

Last year, when we got our love back to being LOVE (not because of our first born), we had our second fruit of love. And then we decided to get married.

I never regret about the pain I endured during the time he neglected my love and my sacrifices for my child because I can see my son happy. And we are now a family. We may not be a Happy family, but at least we are still a family.